Some Greatness Before I Go

Friends.  I have been avidly searching for and learning about great greatness this past week, and as I'm leaving Denver tomorrow, I felt the need to share with the world what I've found.  During my evenings here in Denver, while not working on my thesis, I hung out with my favorite sister and her boyfriend, Mike.  I'm not sure how these things were brought up, but I hope you enjoy them.

First off, and don't shoot me when you've already seen this/known about this....this....well let's just say that it's got to be the worst....song (for lack of a better word) ever written.  Come to think of it, I'm sure you've heard of it.  R. Kelly - Trapped in the Closet.  Need I say more?  There's actually a fan-wiki here.  OK, so those who have not heard of this, our genius "musician," R. Kelly, lays down a phat beat to which he talks about some crazy happenings, like guns and cheating on his wife, who is cheating, with a girl whose husband is cheating on her with a man named chuck, and it just gets "better" from there.  It started out a few years ago when the first five (or so) episodes were released.  It's up to about episode 21 now and there are plans to take it to 32-ish.  Forgive me, R. Kelly fans, if I got the facts wrong.  Also, forgive me when I say that it's the worst thing I've ever watched (on YouTube, or anywhere else) in my entire life.  I am at a lack for words that describe how terrible it is, and yet I'm drawn to it.  Instead of linking to the actual videos here, I'll give you something that is almost as bad, or may be worse, depending on how much you like Weird Al.  Good on ya, Al!

The next thing on the list is a Christmas song.  I spent some time researching the song Last Christmas, originally by Wham! and found out through a very credible source that there are some 100 covers done to this song...and I'm not lying.  This is probably the worst Christmas song, and no matter how much Jimmy Eat World tries not to make it [gay] (forgive the non-political correctness), it's just....[gay].  Wham!'s version, of course, is actually the best.  Other very horrible renditions are Taylor Swift, Savage Garden, some various techno remixes, and worst of all would be a version done in a cappella by none other than the Backstreet Boys, who I've always wished would just puke and choke.  But, again, for some reason I can't figure out...I can't get enough of this abhorrent song...thus I spent an hour of my [precious] time researching the various renditions...

And finally, the coup de grace, a movie entitled Cool as Ice, and believe-you-me, it lives up to it's name in every possible way.  Many of you will have not caught wind of this, dare I say, instant classic, for it has never been available on DVD.  Oh, and allow me to mention, this 1991 cult classic stars Vanilla Ice at his finest.  Just listen to the plot synopsis: 

Johnny, a freewheeling, motorcycle-riding musician, rolls into a small town with his band, and meets Kathy, an honor student who catches his eye. Meanwhile, Kathy's father, after being in the Witness Protection Program, is finally found by the two corrupt cops he escaped from years ago, who claim he owes them a lot of money.

The movie is actually a remake of Rebel without a Cause, starring James Dean, which has much better odds of being an OK film.  Cool as Ice, however, is so terrible that one can't help but be drawn to it.  It is the epitome of the early 1990's, and anyone that lived and experienced the days of Ice, as they have come to be known, will love and admire this film by mocking it, and laughing hysterically at classic lines, such as "Yep, yep.  She likes me." or "Ah yeah, yeah." and who can forget the unforgettably romantic line, "Hey Kat, let me give you some words of wisdom.  Drop that zero and get with the hero!" These, and other memorable quotes can be found here.  I sure hope Ice-man gets picked on by his friends because of this atrocity; but hey, he made $1,000,000 from his one chance at being an actor!  If anyone is interested, I will be watching this movie at least once a week so that I, too, can be as cool as Ice.  Ha!

Well folks, I hope that this has inspired at least 5 of you to check out some of the better things that life can offer.  I'm curious what people's thoughts are on these 3 greatnesses, and other things whose horrible badness gives them power to attain such a curious, captivating attraction.  Yeah, yeah, give me some feedback VIP!

Peace.

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Thesis or Fec....Never Mind

So I just want to say that I just finished the first draft of my thesis.  I'd post a link to it here or something, but it's crap and I'm embarrassed for anyone to read it except for my advisor, and I'm dreading what he's going to say.  But it's done.  Now it's just a lot of revising as soon as I get the blood-splotted piece of trash back from him.  The anticipation of his reply is going to kill me until I get it.  Here is what I'm imaging the return email will say:

Jason

You have a lot of work to do.  Keep in mind, when I say that you have a lot of work to do, what I mean is that you need to rewrite the entire thing.  I can't even read this.  It's trash.  I hate it and therefore I hate you!  In fact, I don't want to be your advisor anymore.  That's right, you have to find a new advisor, get a new research project, and you will be repaying me for the past 3 semesters of research assistantship money.  I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.  It's time to get out!  Everyone onboard!  THIS IS THE LAST PLANE OUT OF VIETNAM!!! 

--Dr. Stevens

PS You suck.

Well there you have it folks.  I'm dead.  Lindsey, I think it's safe to say we should move now or I won't be around in July!  Europe, here we come!

Peace.

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On a Friday

I know...I lied.  Forgive me?  I just got so burned out working on my thesis.  I have one section left of it and I have 2 days left of this week and having nothing to do all day.  I'm also pretty sure that I'll have to revise the whole thing.  I'm imagining my advisor taking a big fatty marker whose ink is my blood and crossing out the entire thing because of the hell, fire and damnation that is the wrath in his eyes as he reads it.  Pretty sure it sucks.  But as my wise sister Amber always says, "[Life is] just a draft!  There's always revisions! :)"  And yes, as she speaks, a smiley emoticon escapes her lips and floats off into oblivion.  

Now the reason for today's post is not to show you that I'm not a man of my word, but because the other day I was reading this blog, Halestorm, and I loved her newest post.  It said feel free to do this yourself with a promise that it would be the time of my life, and let me tell you my friends: Halestorm doesn't lie, unlike me.  So take her word for it and try it if you must and alas! it will be an enjoyable experience...like that one time when Peter did a magic show for blind people...

An excerpt from Halestorm:

Directions:

1. Put your iPod, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the "next" button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY OR NON-SENSICAL IT SOUNDS.

Well, here we go!

1.  IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?

The Goddess Appears - The Legend of Zelda

2.  HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

Do it Alone - Sugarcult

3.  WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?

Mad as Rabbits - Panic! at the Disco

4.  HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Joy - Islands (Note: the first words are "I feel great! So happy...")

5.  WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE?

Getting Even - Guster

6.  WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Hotel - Broken Social Scene

7.  WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

8.  WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Don't Worry Baby - Beach Boys

9.  WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Lightness - Death Cab for Cutie

10.  WHAT IS 2 + 2?

The Successor - Final Fantasy

11.  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Morning Lullabies - Ingrid Michaelson

12.  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Grounds for Divorce - Elbow

13.  WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Aerodynamic [Daft Punk Remix] - Daft Punk

14.  WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?

World on Fire [Solarstone After Hours Mix] - Sarah Mclachlan 

15.  WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Pacific Theme - Broken Social Scene

16.  WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

The Horizon Has Been Defeated - Jack Johnson

17.  WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Memory (Acoustic) - Sugarcult

18.  WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds Five

19.  WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Title and Registration - Death Cab for Cutie

20.  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Hello Kitty Kat - The Smashing Pumpkins

21.  SONG THEY WILL PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

On Fire - Switchfoot

22.  WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

On a Friday - Blakq Audio

OK, so that was fun, except I got a glimpse of how much crappy music I still have.  I deleted a lot of it, but sick.  Death Cab?  Jack Johnson?  Sugarcult?  I like The Cult or even Blue Oyster Cult, but not Sugarcult.  My iTunes can say goodbye to these bands.  Then I might do this again.  I also have a confession: I cheated on the last one.  I couldn't believe I still had this one band within a 1-mile radius of me.  I couldn't put it down.  I just couldn't.  Wow that feels good to get off my chest.  Next time on Confessions at High Altitudes, we will discuss why AT&T is better than Verizon.  

Peace.

PS - What a weird post.  But that's what 3 days of writing the proverbial you's thesis at an altitude the proverbial you is not used to will do to the proverbial you.  Eat it, you.

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Jason is...

...going to write his thesis this week...

....and no blogs...

...joder!!!

Peace.

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Snow Drifts

I woke up today, looked outside and guess what?!  It snowed! :)  Yes, friends and fellow bloggers, that was a smiley emoticon.  I do like the snow.  It means it's cold (finally!); it provides for more service opportunities than sunny, warm weather; and it makes the air feel so clean, like the time I said a bad word and my mom washed out my mouth with soap.  She really did this.  No, no, no... I remember it now... I spelled a 4-letter scatological term and my mom dumped black pepper on my tongue!  This must be the cause of my outrageously high tolerance for black pepper.  Thanks, ma!  So, I guess a better analogy would be when YOU said a bad word and YOUR mom washed out your mouth with soap.  That must have been a horrible experience.

This is my mom, the Pepperer

Speaking of horrible experiences, and snow for that matter, the first time I've seen snow since last May was in Denver, the few days following Thanksgiving.  I loved seeing it, mind; the problem was that it touched us (nos toco!) to drive home the Sunday following the dia de accion de gracias.  I checked the internet for road conditions/closures just before we left, and the internet said that the road we needed to travel was closed due to high winds blowing snow with extreme force across the highway.  Not a good sign.  I tried to tell my family that it might be a good idea to wait for a day, or indefinitely, and give the road conditions some time to improve.  My favorite Uncle Jerry (not my favorite uncle, my favorite Uncle Jerry) said, "It'll be OK.  Have a little faith."  My inner monologue, which may or may not have been audible, said, "True, faith is good.  But faith doesn't mean you do something stupid (or life-endangering) and hope it will be OK (or you won't die)!"  We had no problems from Denver to Cheyenne.  As soon as we started on I-80 heading west, the problems commenced.  Friends, it was nuts, and not like my roommate Nuts.  Pictures and videos don't do it justice; however, I have included some pictures and a video so you can get some feel for what we went through.

It took us 2 hours to go 21 miles.  There were times that the wind was blowing so much snow that it was worse than a sandstorm on Tatooine.  At these times, it was a complete white-out, and I regretfully did not capture any photos or video during these times giving you reason not to believe me...but do!  I'm not lying!!

Here they are!

And the video.

Using my mad video editing skills, I added, once again, some really chill music to the video.  Only one person even attempted guessing at the last one, so I'm issuing a challenge to whomever wants to take it!  If you can tell me the name of the band that is playing the fantastic music on the clip, I'll take you to Juniper, or if you don't like that, any restaurant of your choice.  You can use google, but it will be of no help to you.  And just so you all know, Kristin, of .Kristin. (one of the best bloggers ever as she has just surpassed 100 posts! Man, that's more exciting than the time Strong Bad reached his 100th email!) has the advantage on this one!  

And this is me with a mustache! 

Jason, the Mustacheoid

Peace.

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El Dia de Accion de Gracias

In case you were wondering, the title is how you say Thanksgiving Day in Spain, the country where I hope to live someday.  So today is Thanksgiving.  I wanted to copy Kendall (actually I had the idea first, or maybe the light bulbs that dwell floating above each of our heads turned on simultaneously) and declare some of the things for which I'm thankful.  I'm not usually like this, so excuse the sentimentality.  This may appear similar to Kendall's post (maybe because I'm using his as a template...jk), but these are actually my thoughts.

1. My family - the one and only true constant in my life.  These guys are always there when I need them and I know that they always want me around, me and all of my weirdness.  I am so happy to be here in Denver with almost my entire maternal extended family.  It's going to be a catastrophically gigantic thanksgiving dinner to which I think more than thirty people are going to attend.  It's so large that we're going to be eating at a church and all I can say is: oh man...I can't wait to eat.  
2. My beard - I've been given a lot of strange looks from the members of my family due to my large beard, and some have even come up with nicknames or things that I remind them of.  One cousin came in and said, "Who's the bear sitting on my mom's couch." I've been called grizz (short for Grizzly Adams) by more than one person independent of the others.  My mom and uncle called me a hippie (because yesterday I had on my tie dye) and everyone else just laughs at me - a reiteration of why I'm grateful for my family... 
3. The Gospel - the older I get and the more I experience life has made me truly appreciate having the gospel in my life.  I love being a Christian!  I love my Savior! And my knowledge of the Atonement is priceless!
4. My dad - I don't know if you can read blogs over there Dad, but I miss you so much!  Thank you for all of the things that you taught me and for somehow continuing to teach me through the way you lived your life and the lessons you taught me.  I love you!
5. Music - this includes so many things.  Music is the greatest escape that I have been given.  Anytime I need to get away from life, I either pull out my guitar and play (which is everyday!), turn on my iPod or push play on my computer, or drive over to the church (since I don't own a piano yet) and play until my fingers bleed.  Music has also brought me closer to friends.
6. Sitting and listening to music with a friend, watching the iTunes visualizer, talking and falling asleep during those unspoken hours of the night. :)
7. My friends - I could list you each by name, but I don't want to leave anyone out, and plus, I don't want to misspell anyone's name.  But this includes, but is clearly not limited to, my roommates and the ice cream that they all owe me, that girl that likes Dashboard in number 8, Mojito and the Shrivner, the guys that practically live in their apartment (the Taiwanese apartment) who are also co-emperors in the fish bowl (wait, did they die?), old roommates, my crazy friends who were our downstairs neighbors in Continental 22 a few years ago, my second cousin once removed and her awesome roommates, Snake, GWARD, my friend who made plans to go to Styx with me months in advance and who introduced me to the office and the concept of Alpha-males, my sister, the dudes that I grew up with (and apparently our friendship is so tight now that one of them had a baby and told me about it 4 days later on a whim), mission pals, the blonde girl from Bear Lake who has captivated me every time we have hung out for the past 5.5 years, my summer of '07 friends, the girl who doesn't like cheese, all of the people that call me Quertis, and the list goes on towards infinity.  Everyone of you has helped me in someway at different times, and you may not know it!  You've gotten me through the worst times and turned the good times into the best times.  And please, excuse the cheese!
8. Cheese (both literal and figurative).
9. Food - this truly brings people together, and I met so many of my friends as a result of BBQ's, Paella nights, etc.
10. Mountain Dew (orange, yellow, red, etc.), Diet Dr. Pepper, and Guarana - self explanatory - the hardest things I can drink to escape! :)
11. Video games - another great escape.  Lately I've had such a hugh Jones for Final Fantasy that it's about all I want to do anymore.  I'm grateful for this, but I also wish the Jones would go away so I could get my thesis done.
12. TV shows and movies - prolly the biggest reason I can say I'm grateful for these things is the social aspect of it.  I love getting big groups together and watching a movie, or having a couple of friends over and watching Arrested Development.  Also it's another way I can turn off the world and embrace...the world...
13. Scooter rides and drives - whenever I'm having a bad day and just need to think, meditate, pray, etc., these are always incredibly helpful.  Scooter rides with a passenger are good too because they enable others to get off steam and sometimes they're like a [insert time, in minutes]-minute hug. Uhh, but only when it's a girl on the back. Sorry, Seth. :)
14. Ostinato.

I could go on for a lifetime, but I've listed the stuff that I'm most grateful for, along with some silly ones, one that you'll most likely google or wiki.  And then you'll wonder why I'm grateful for that and I hope you do, and comment on it for crying out loud!  So if I were to go on, there would be heaps more silly ones and things that I would have to explain.  Also, I need to get ready. :)

Peace.

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Tomwom

It's 2 a.m. Again.  And I'm still up.  Again.  And i'm leaving for Denver.  At 7.  Tomwom [tomorrow].  Which means I need to get up at 6:30.  In the morning.  Because I need to make sure I'm ready.  And I'll have to take a shower.  And I'm driving.  My grandma's Camry.  It's new.  I hope it goes fast.  And oh man I'm not at all tired and I should already be asleep and I'm listening to this really good music right now and I can't stop because I love it and yeah I think I'm going to bed now because my iPod just got done updating and is charged so now I can turn my MacBook off.  

Just so everyone out there knows, this blog post was inspired by my good friend Sarah, whose blog can be found here.  It's seriously the funniest blog on the web.  Go there.  Now.

Peace.

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Untitled

Instead of a repeat of last night, I am starting a little earlier when I may (or may not) have a couple of lingering rational thoughts.  To be quite honest, I have a head full of thoughts tonight, and I'm not sure I like it.  In fact, I don't like it at all.  I truly miss the summer time, when I needn't think about anything too much; before my life got busy and stressful and complicated, etc. These things just fill my head with unnecessary thoughts, and as I said before, I don't like it at all.  

So I went to a dance [performance] tonight put on by Full Circle and the hip hop dance company to finally get the chance to watch my friends perform and support them, and I'm so glad I went.  A little side note: it is one of my very favorite things in life when I meet a person who is passionate about their hobbies, interests, or talents.  A lot of things can fall into this category, such as photography, music, sports, hunting, stats, and the list could and does go on.  Tonight's show exemplified this to the tee.  Some of the performances were OK, and I saw them as nothing more than a talent show, as they didn't exactly peak my interest.  

And then there were the other performances: the ones my friends danced in and the reason I went to the show.  I didn't realize that I could be inspired by a dance performance.  But I saw my friends (among others) not dancing just to dance, but because they love it and wanted to shout to the world that they love it.  It must have taken so much hard work and I could tell that they are passionate about it to the point that they live for dance.  And guys, you were so, so good!  And I loved it.  It was a truly inspiring show: it has made me want to work on my talents, to choose one or two things that I like to do (i.e. photography and guitar), practice every day, work really hard to get better, and give my life some meaning!  So, my friends, I thank you.  

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My Morning Coke

If you're a true fan of Resplendent Sunrise, you know that I've uploaded a couple of videos recently.  Since I got my new phone, I've been having a lot of fun making these short and silly videos.  Today (yesterday) was no exception to this norm that I've normalized at this moment in my not so normal life.  

In short, I filmed my 44 oz. mug (I've mentioned this beast before) walking, so to speak, across the Utah State University campus, from my office and back, in one cut.  Clearly you can imagine the looks I got, strolling along with my phone in the right hand aimed continuously at my 44 oz. mug in the left hand.  I learned a few things during this experiment:  

1. It takes me 15 minutes to walk from my office, to the TSC, fill up my mug, pay, and walk back to my office, with minimal stopping and talking to friends or cool people in the USU Quik Stop, mind.  And that's walking fast!
2. A mug is (statistically) significantly lighter when empty.
3. Carrying a full, 44 oz. mug with your arm extended for 7 minutes causes fatigue and "arm-shakes."
4. My arm is sore.

I'm sure I learned more than this, but given that it's 3:00 AM, I feel that I'm exempt from rational thought.  

You may be worried that I'm going to ask you to watch a 15.5 minute video clip of a cup's perspective of USU campus, though you worry in vain.  I'm asking you to watch a 4.5 minute video clip of a cup's perspective of USU campus, and for your enjoyment, I've overlaid some nice, happy, chill, etc. music.  And I'll make you a deal: if you can tell me (without google or help from Seth) the band name, album and song title of the song in the clip, I'll buy you dinner at Juniper Takeout (or a restaurant of equal or lesser value).  Know that this offer is only valid for the first person to get it right.  After this event, the offer is null and void.  What do you say?  And YES, Seth, you can play too.  Here it is at it's finest, the Coke Walk.  Enjoy.

Peace.

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A Strange House

There are no words in elvish, entish or the tongues of me that can explain the influence Alfred Hitchcock has had on our society.  Strangely enough, this post has nothing to do with him.  One reason for this is because, as said before, there are simply no words.  The other reason is because this post is directed towards a strange house in a strange dream.  

I came home (Idaho) this weekend to hang with the family.  I can usually leave the guest room (since I'm a guest in the Bell household) and walk into a hallway, which leads to the living room, kitchen, etc.  But I had this strange dream that I left the guest room, and somehow ended up in the garage.  This turned into the laundry room, where I was suddenly given an orange Creamie.  The room somehow flipped on it's side and I was given the ability to walk through walls.  And then my truck turned into a rose on a door and then I woke up trying to get back into my house.  The background music made me feel as though I was a sleuth, doing my damnedest to figure out the mystery of this strange house, somehow getting trapped outside and waking up before I was able to solve the puzzle.  Puzzling.  Curious.

Curiously enough, and fortunately for us, I hooked my brain up to my MacBook via bluetooth and was able to "record" my dream.  Due to the technology being extremely new and somewhat limited, the resolution is quite low and the video pixelated.  

As you can see, it was a strange dream.  

Peace.

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Raining

In lieu of writing my thesis this morning, I'd like to take a moment to write a few thoughts.  I'm not sure if you heard me right or not, but yes, I did say thesis.  I've finally arrived at the point of my graduate studies, specifically my research, to start writing my thesis.  I'm scared to death about it.  I've never written a 50 page document that has to be formatted in a certain way with the very probable possibility (redundant?) of being published.  I know what you're all thinking.  Yee-haw!  Right? Right?  

So I've made the goal to get the first draft done by Thanksgiving.  This would enable me to revise it during Christmas break and get prepared for my defense in the beginning of Spring semester.  The thought of getting this all done and out of the way makes me very happy!

Some other things that make me happy:

1. Rain.  I rode my scooter to school today in the rain.  I was soaked!  Apart from the brain cells that I lost on the way due to the brain freeze I get every time I ride it in the cold, it was a really great time and it put a large, creepy smile on my face.
2. Jal.  I've been going through a strange, rough patch of life these past few weeks.  I'm not sure exactly what's been causing it, but I've been stuck in this rut, and it seems impossible to dig my way out.  Jalene, thanks for talking to me about it.  You're a great, great friend!!!  I've been feeling much better and I woke up today thinking, "It's going to be a great day!"  It has so far!  
3. Creepy secret admirers.  I don't want one, mind.  Yesterday, something pretty funny happened to Kendall.  Apparently, he has a secret admirer that has a seemingly twisted sense of humor.  See here for more info and the chance to earn $10!  Sorry for laughing at this whole rollo and thanks for being an awesome friend and telling me what I need to hear.  I'm feeling much better about life and I know what I have to do.  Oh, and hey, good luck tonight! Sin!!!
4. The Shrivner.  This is someone who truly cares about people and leaves the comfort of the Shrivner's natural habitat to help out a friend.  Thanks for listening!
5. All of my friends!
6. Amber.  My sister.  You are the best!  I'm so happy for you guys and I can't wait to be done with school, move to Denver and be close to you!!!  It should be pretty rockin'.
7. Diet Dr. Pepper.  I think I might be addicted.
8. Family Guy.  It's strange, but when I watch this terrible show, everything bad about life floats away and I laugh.  Hysterically.
9. School friends.  
10. Of Montreal, Libbie Linton, Chairlift, Jem, Ingrid, Dashboard, Taken By Trees, A Bird's Bird, etc.
11. KSM guitars.  These guys are awesome.  Yesterday they replaced my guitar string for free, added a guitar strap, and sold me some .38mm picks.  
12. .38mm picks.  
13. Lists that go on way too long.

Well guys, have a good day.  

Peace.

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This Is Patti

I found the following video on a website for the new ad campaign for Coca Cola, specifically Diet Coke.  Apparently they've decided to go low quality, cellular phone style filming and editing.  I thought it was a pretty funny, short and happy commercial.  Good job Coke!

On another note, I've learned a new word (actually I learned it a few months ago) from my friend Seth, and I've truly felt like one lately around certain people.  Today was one of those days where I've definitely felt like one.  Oh well, life goes on, right?  The picture below represents this word, since I will not say the word on my blog.

Peace.

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Doors: Better Door or Doorway?

Funny Story.  This is actually for you Kristin, since I told you I would tell you a funny story, but there was no time on the phone, and well, I think I tell stories better in writing than on the phone or in person.  This is also for all of my avid blog fans who have just been dying for a new post from me.  I'm not sure why I'm confessing this in public, but it's a funny story...to me at least.

Around earlier today, I was in my office.  Yes, that's right, my office.  In case you didn't know, I have an office.  A shared office, but nonetheless, an office.  On campus.  And yes, I'm a grad student.  [Smack!]  

Sorry about that.

Around earlier today, I was on campus about ready to go to a meeting with my group.  You see, we're presenting our group project on Friday, something that I am indeed frightened of, yet it is inevitable.  I don't really do well in front of people.  I get, what is word...stage fright.  It's something that I've had my whole life.  I really don't mind doing a presentation, and once it's over I always think, "That was it? That's what I've been stressing over for the past 72 days?"  Although this may not seem relevant to the story I'm trying to tell...no no...actually it's not relevant.  I will now move on with the story.

I was in my office about ready to go to the meeting that I described, or intended to describe in the paragraph directly preceding this one.  Well, maybe I had no real intention of describing the meeting for which I was preparing to leave.  I did, however, have every intention of not describing said meeting and I have a really bad case of the ADD's right now so nothing I'm actually writing is going to make sense.  

As I was leaving to go to my meeting with the group for the group project that we're presenting on Friday, I turned to say something to Corlan, a fair-mannered young buck, unless you call him Cory.  You know the Incredible Hulk?  It's nothing like that at all.  Something just snaps in his brain and he'll throw his backpack at your legs, which of course won't phase you.  But if you were paying attention, you would have noticed the bulge in the front pocket of his backpack, which is curiously in the shape of a grape soda can, which of course is under a lot of pressure and the tiniest impact, such as hitting a pair of shins made out of bone with plenty of calcium at a velocity at which only Mad Cory can launch projectiles, tends to explode the can filling his backpack with grape soda which soaks his Stat 5120 homework and causes him to make up an excuse as to why he cannot turn it in today.  Not a pretty picture, I don't recommend it...unless you would like to see the funniest thing since sliced bread...

Again...ADD.

So as I'm saying something to him, I attempt to make it out the doorway, not noting that the door is not wide open, but instead partially closed.  [Smack!] This time, the smack in square brackets represents me, hitting the door, not even close to ever so softly.  The strange thing is, I felt nothing.  No pain in my leg, where the majority of the impact took place, and no pain in my heart when I realized that the screen on my phone was smashed by the impact, meaning I now have a good excuse to switch to AT&T and leave my nemesis (Verizon) in the shattered pieces that now make up the front screen of my orange phone.  The broken LCD display looked neat, but I soon came to grips with the fact that switching to AT&T, creating an early termination with Verizon, implying an early termination fee will be billed to my current address and signing a new contract with my nemesis's nemesis would be cheaper and better in the long run than replacing my orange brick and staying with my nemesis's nemesis's nemesis.  I'm done.

So that's how I got a new phone.  I really enjoy it.  It's dark red, sexy, I can use it as a remote control for my MacBook, I got an $80 bluetooth headset for $5 and I'm really going to enjoy using the bluetooth to it's full capacity and having a phone that doubles as a maid that will make me eggs over medium in the mornings to come.  

I sure hope you enjoyed my story.  I apologize for the ADD.  Sometimes I just want people to understand what I go through every day, not being able to focus on one thing for just one...hey who wants to go to Beto's?  Next time, I will demonstrate how to make a wet computer out of Strong Bad's computer!  

Peace.

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I've been doing well from what they say.

Yep.

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Stick Figures

There are some things that people just don't know or understand.  For example, most people don't realize how versatile stick figure people can be!  I've seen them have dance parties, eat egg rolls, dive into water, fight dragons, ward off zombies, and even hold the world on their shoulders.  Unfortunately, stick figure people can get pretty violent at times.  I figure they have a hard time denying the natural man, since there really isn't much to them, let alone space enough to stuff a soul in there.  I guess you could say that they just go by instinct, like wild boars.  To better understand this phenomenon, I will say this:  I have a friend who likes to draw stick figures.  His stick figures have the tendency to say the F-word...uhh, not behavior that I condone from my friend, but you can't really control stick figure people.  As I said before, they do what they want.  My stick figure people have never cursed, fortunately, but they do some pretty crazy things.  This is something that really peaked my interest, and I believe that further study is of vital importance if we as humans are ever going to get to the bottom of this. 

I'm sure you scrolled down already and peeked at some of my drawings, so in case you haven't guessed, today is art day!!!  I have one thing to say to you impatient people:

You ruined the surprise!  Just so you know, my friend Seth works at a pharmaceutical company, and they have have a cough syrup named the above drawing.  And I'm truly and truthfully...lying.  Onto the art!

This guy didn't follow the directions on the tree.  Idiot.  I don't even feel bad.

One of my better Trogdors.  I think there's an even better one below.

As you may or may not know, I don't like Windows.  This blog was written on a MacBook and I will forever be a Mac-guy.  DIE WINDOWS!

I guess this guy is testing a cannon.  Probably some sort of military training.

I hope he doesn't move!

I think this guy pissed off the wrong crowd.  He most likely betrayed a member of the mob.

Even Rambo doesn't like math.  There's something wrong with this country, besides the presidential campaign 2008 and Obama.

This is what happens when you get 5 angry stick figure people in the same room, each with their own weapons.  Maybe the United Nations?

Results of the Game.

Link (above and below) holding the triforce and killing a Poe (respectively).

Here's a good recipe: a Molotov cocktail and a few zombies.

I like drawing Skull and Cross Bones.  No idea why.  It just looks neat.

Here's the dance party of the century!

This guy's eating an egg roll.  As if you couldn't tell, right?  What gave it away?

Not that she'll ever read my blog (ABBIE!) but mack time has been cancelled indefinitely.

I think this is my best Trogdor I've ever drawn...in class.

Don't worry.  Clint Eastwood shot him down before he actually fell.

This is the worst Trogdor I've ever drawn.

He should have been more head-strong.

He'll never be the head of a major corporation.

Not a good way to get ahead in life.

Life feels like this sometimes.

You'd be scared too.

This is just so you don't think I'm too demented.

This guy is tugging a theorem along.  I don't think it's a very useful theorem, so he can HAVE it!

This is actually a self portrait.  Me.  Taking my 72-hour exam.  I get the results tomorrow (Friday).  And yes, I'm frightened.  That's a picture of my mom on the desk, by the way.

This guy is breaking the word of wisdom.

The flying crane as it would have been if the Karate Kid was rated R.

Indeed!

Life feels like this sometimes.

I thought it would be fun to make a stick figure people version of the good book.  I have another drawing somewhere but it's lost right now.  I'll work on this...

So there it is folks:  Macs are better, and this proves it!  Everybody vote!

Peace.

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