Doors: Better Door or Doorway?

Funny Story.  This is actually for you Kristin, since I told you I would tell you a funny story, but there was no time on the phone, and well, I think I tell stories better in writing than on the phone or in person.  This is also for all of my avid blog fans who have just been dying for a new post from me.  I'm not sure why I'm confessing this in public, but it's a funny story...to me at least.

Around earlier today, I was in my office.  Yes, that's right, my office.  In case you didn't know, I have an office.  A shared office, but nonetheless, an office.  On campus.  And yes, I'm a grad student.  [Smack!]  

Sorry about that.

Around earlier today, I was on campus about ready to go to a meeting with my group.  You see, we're presenting our group project on Friday, something that I am indeed frightened of, yet it is inevitable.  I don't really do well in front of people.  I get, what is word...stage fright.  It's something that I've had my whole life.  I really don't mind doing a presentation, and once it's over I always think, "That was it? That's what I've been stressing over for the past 72 days?"  Although this may not seem relevant to the story I'm trying to tell...no no...actually it's not relevant.  I will now move on with the story.

I was in my office about ready to go to the meeting that I described, or intended to describe in the paragraph directly preceding this one.  Well, maybe I had no real intention of describing the meeting for which I was preparing to leave.  I did, however, have every intention of not describing said meeting and I have a really bad case of the ADD's right now so nothing I'm actually writing is going to make sense.  

As I was leaving to go to my meeting with the group for the group project that we're presenting on Friday, I turned to say something to Corlan, a fair-mannered young buck, unless you call him Cory.  You know the Incredible Hulk?  It's nothing like that at all.  Something just snaps in his brain and he'll throw his backpack at your legs, which of course won't phase you.  But if you were paying attention, you would have noticed the bulge in the front pocket of his backpack, which is curiously in the shape of a grape soda can, which of course is under a lot of pressure and the tiniest impact, such as hitting a pair of shins made out of bone with plenty of calcium at a velocity at which only Mad Cory can launch projectiles, tends to explode the can filling his backpack with grape soda which soaks his Stat 5120 homework and causes him to make up an excuse as to why he cannot turn it in today.  Not a pretty picture, I don't recommend it...unless you would like to see the funniest thing since sliced bread...

Again...ADD.

So as I'm saying something to him, I attempt to make it out the doorway, not noting that the door is not wide open, but instead partially closed.  [Smack!] This time, the smack in square brackets represents me, hitting the door, not even close to ever so softly.  The strange thing is, I felt nothing.  No pain in my leg, where the majority of the impact took place, and no pain in my heart when I realized that the screen on my phone was smashed by the impact, meaning I now have a good excuse to switch to AT&T and leave my nemesis (Verizon) in the shattered pieces that now make up the front screen of my orange phone.  The broken LCD display looked neat, but I soon came to grips with the fact that switching to AT&T, creating an early termination with Verizon, implying an early termination fee will be billed to my current address and signing a new contract with my nemesis's nemesis would be cheaper and better in the long run than replacing my orange brick and staying with my nemesis's nemesis's nemesis.  I'm done.

So that's how I got a new phone.  I really enjoy it.  It's dark red, sexy, I can use it as a remote control for my MacBook, I got an $80 bluetooth headset for $5 and I'm really going to enjoy using the bluetooth to it's full capacity and having a phone that doubles as a maid that will make me eggs over medium in the mornings to come.  

I sure hope you enjoyed my story.  I apologize for the ADD.  Sometimes I just want people to understand what I go through every day, not being able to focus on one thing for just one...hey who wants to go to Beto's?  Next time, I will demonstrate how to make a wet computer out of Strong Bad's computer!  

Peace.