Jason's Needs

I'm sitting here this morning [thoroughly] enjoying my breakfast consisting of All Bran cereal, a [delicious] braeburn apple and a glass of orange-guava juice, [effortlessly] wasting my time on Facebook (FB here after) before I [dreadfully] go to campus for the day.  (Please note that I would not be eating this crap at all were it not for my hot personal trainer that would kick my A if I didn't...)  On FB, I saw a note of one of my "friends" and I thought it would be kind of funny to try it here.  I don't apologize to those of you who [systematically] hate these little games.  In fact, I don't apologize for anything that I've done to offend you.  Eat it.

Here's the game.  Google the phrase (including the quotes) "[your first name] needs" and write down the first 10 results.  It's surprising how much these sound [exactly] like me.

1. Jason needs a pismo. (I have no idea what that is)
2. Jason needs to SHUT UP.  (Indeed)
3. Jason needs to diet because he has become too fat.  Although he admits that his tummy sticks out a bit, he doesn't agree that he has become too fat.
4. Jason needs a toilet fast.  (Ha X 6!)
5. Jason needs a bandaid.
6. Jason needs a ring.  Jason finds a ring and proposes. (Never)
7. Jason needs to put on his shirt, overalls, shoes and socks....Understand that Jason needs to carry his pitchfork and he is off for a fun-filled evening, full of excitement and maybe a few screams.
8. Jason needs a helmet.
9. Jason needs a good slapping.
10. Jason needs your micro-cash.

Wow, that was a good time.  

Peace.