We Three Rings

That's a clever title. I dare you to oppose me! As I was talking with my lovely sister today, and a very intense talk it was, full of dreams and aspirations and fears and unwanted life-features, I mentioned to her the following:

I need to find my niche.

Maybe I could invent titles for people and their lamely-titled or pathetically-untitled posts. Not saying their posts are pathetic or lame, but some of the titles could be better. Take, for instance, this one.

Whatever my niche is, it's out there. I just know it. Oft times I've daydreamed of becoming an artist. "What kind of artist?" asked a fellow named Steve. As he normally mumbles out one-word phrases, I was quite taken aback at the clarity, depth, and 4-wordiness of his question.

"Anime," was my reply.

"That?" A reply I'm used to.

And so anime was out. Other times during my daily work-slumber (eek!), I allow my electrical synapses to derive a vivid image of a book written by Leon and to display it on the Retina Display that is my mind's eye. "A book?" said a man named Shawn. "Don't make me laugh." I'm only guessing that if I told any man named Shawn that I want to write a book, his reply would be thus, and not thusly since I hate that word almost as much as I hate mayonnaise.

"Maybe my niche is cooking!" I exclaimed at the NPCs running across the 100-inch cinema display on the wall. "Oh it's YOU," they all said in a somewhat eerily familiar voice. I can't win. And that is how I turned my attention to rings.

I promised Bev (all these names!) that I would explain a little about three rings. I wear a size 12 on my index finger, in case you were wondering. Text me for my address.

1) A ring with skulls on it. I know what you're thinking. Yes, it is brilliant, thanks.

2) Griever - if I could get my hands on a Griever, I'd wear it.

It's quite possible that it's hard to see how cool this thing is, but that's your problem. With this ring, I could assume the power to be pessimistic, introverted, and yield a gunblade. What more would one want? An impeccable segue.

3) This obscure, extremely rare ring has an inscription that reads:

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

You better know the kind of powers I would assume sporting this bad boy around! Of course, with both Griever and The One Ring, I would be unstoppable(!), and yet be precisely the same as I am now: a world record setting, Harry Potter reading, video game playing, NPC interacting, clever title inventing, iPhone messing, gerund forming dude. Sans girlfriend. Sans life. Sans niche.