Sephin's Amazing Taco Soup

The day was cold. It must have been below 20˚, but with the wind blowing on campus it felt more like -29˚. My phone chimes, alerting me to a new text message from Sephin. It was a picture message. He was making his famous taco soup, famous at the time only in Continental 12 during the 2005-2006 school year. It was something that we would eat on a nearly-weekly basis. On this occasion, I still had two classes left to attend and thus became both jealous and irate that he would tempt me into skipping them to indulge in that soup.

This, among many others, are the great memories I have of Sephin's Amazing Taco Soup, so named by its hordes of consumers. Shortly after college, Sephin decided to open a restaurant called Sephin's Perfect Balance, and thus marketed his soup. His original recipe, a bit dull for my own taste, has become ever-popular among residents and visitors of southern Utah and Mesquite, in which the now 2 locations are open for business. I'm trying to sell my old friend my modified recipe, alas being as successful as he his, he has no time to hear me out. A good friendship turned sour over soup. It's quite curious that the soup, once made to strengthen bonds among friends and roommates, now serves as the source to the breaking of our fellowship.

I have decided to divulge the recipe on a public blog. You may see things differently, but I call it vindication.

Sephin's (much awaited) Amazing Taco Soup

1 lb ground beef

1 can corn*

1 can black beans, washed

1 can tomato puree (a size bigger than the corn and black beans)

1 can El Pato chili sauce (comes in a yellow can)

1 can hot green chiles, chopped*

Brown meat, season as you wish. Add all to a crock pot. Stir. Salt to taste. Cook on high until begins to boil. Turn to low. Cook until you are too hungry to wait any longer and begin to eat the flesh off of your best friend's hand. Serve with cheese, sour cream, tortilla chips (no partially hydrogenated oils), etc. Allow to cool - will scourge mouth if eaten too rapidly.

* Instead of 1 can of corn, you may use 2 cans of corn with green and red bell peppers. You may also use fresh bell peppers for a true delight. Hot green chiles also not in original recipe.

There you have it. Sephin, if you don't like it, sue me.

Peace.

Note - for the record, Sephin's real name is Paul The Grass Man Harris, he owns no such restaurant, and our friendship is perfectly intact. You can find his blog here and his photo here.

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The Uncyclopedia

Now I'm not in any way endorsing all of the content on this page, but I thought it was pretty funny. There may be some...questionable material. Some examples:

That's all. Here is the link.

Peace.

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Mellow

Do you ever have those days? Where you feel just mellow, plateaued, neither high nor low?

Well I'm having one of those weeks.

I feel completely incurious, indifferent, lackadaisical, uninterested, unconcerned, withdrawn.

I wonder if this will last? I kind of like it.

Peace.

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A Simply Marvelous Day

Where to begin?! How about with today? Yeah, that sounds fantastic.

I had to work, which was boring, but at lunch time is where the cool stuff begins. I'll just enumerate it.

1. Went to the AT&T store here in [city, state]. Upon entering, there were balloons, smiles and banners that read Welcome Leon!† on both sides. The kind lady said "We've been expecting you, Leon." "What's behind door #2?" I asked. "It's your new iPhone 3G S!" Too bad I had to pay for it. I would have taken pictures to show my excitement upon opening it, but the nice (she was actually sort of grouchy) lady opened it for me. For the record, Jalface was the first person texted and Shane was the first person called.††
2. The doorbell rang as I was talking to my friend Colette about the job I will [hopefully] have in a few short weeks. It was the UPS man. He was carrying balloons, a smile and a banner that said Here is your camera back! on both sides. After signing his handheld, I took the box and anxiously tore it open. I would have taken pictures to show my excitement upon opening it, but the camera was in the box. Needless to say, more pictures to follow. They will probably go here.†††
3. As if those 2 items aren't enough to make an otherwise boring day fantastic, I went to McDonald's, and the guy at the drive-thru knew exactly what I wanted. Here is the conversation: "Hello, Leon." "Hi." "I would offer you the new McAngus Mushroom McBurger, but it's loaded with partially hydrogenated fatty acids, and I know that you are against eating those. We say that our hamburgers are 100% beef, but that's actually a lie. They are 25% beef, 75% trans fat. So I guess you'll be wanting 10-pc. chicken nuggets, which curiously enough are trans fat free?" "Wow. Yes. Thank you!" "No problem. Large?" "Yes." "BBQ sauce?" "Right again, guy." "Coke?" "Let's do diet." "First window." I pulled up to it, and we had a lengthy conversation about the gas milage of my scooter, and I encouraged him to go get one. I would have taken a picture of me opening my McDonald's bag to show my excitement, but it really wasn't that exciting. Just McDonald's. Don't tell Summer of the Summer Oaktree Diet (SOD). Or my family. In fact, don't tell anyone I either currently or potentially know.††††
4. I was mentioned in somebody's blog that I don't even know! I've appeared in many-a-blog post in the past, but never on someone's blog that I've never met! And it was great! So I'll mention her back. Thanks, the Hess!
5. It's time to SMO (Spawn More Overlords).

As you may or may not have noticed, this post is getting a little strange. Make sure you click on the hyperlinks within the post because they'll for sure take you somewhere wicked.

Peace.

Footnotes:

† - They may have used my real name instead of my pseudonym.

†† - Actual events may differ. The real story is quite dull.

††† - Actual events may differ. UPS man did not have balloons or a banner.

†††† - This is how it actually happened!...almost.

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Deception

Portrait by Shane Earl

I wanted, to right a post two day about decepticamels. Thats write, decepticamels. Your probly dont know what i mean. Ill explane.

Yesterday I went and my friend's to the knew movie Transformers: Revenge of the fallen. It good, but only if you are expecting nothing oscar worthy. Definately alot of action, and lot's of cool computer generated graphics to. Irregardless of what you think, it was okay in my eye's. Then some camels came into the movie and my freind said those are the decepticamels. It was so funny we almost got kicked out of the movie because we were laughing to hard and making other's angry

It was really cold in the movie's. So we went out side and we unthawed a little. Neat huh

Piece†

†Note: you probably (hopefully) noticed some grammar mistakes in this post. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but....wait, I hope it does! I'm sure I'm guilty of this too, but I really think our society has stopped caring about spelling, proper grammar, and our language as a whole, and it's making us look less intelligent than we already do to the rest of Earth. My plea: please people of America! Learn how to spell definitely. Learn the difference between to, two and too. Learn the difference between your and you're. Alot is not a word. Know that it's is a contraction, while its is possessive. Learn what words are real and what words don't make sense. For example, irregardless is NOT a word. Just say regardless. Unthaw (or unfrost) means to freeze, not to thaw. Learn where commas need to go. Learn how to make words plural (not 's). Learn to use periods (dots) at the end of a sentence. And don't make sentences too long. We learned most of this stuff in 2nd grade! We should practice it. I need some feedback, people. If I'm too harsh, or if I ever make grammatical/spelling errors, or if you have any ideas about this topic, comment! And I promise you one thing: no more negative posts...for a week! :)

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The Truth About Trans Fat

It's time again for a trans fat spill. As my readers, you need to know that I deeply care about your well being. As promised, more information about this deadly toxin here. There is a boat-load of stuff on the deadly, manufactured crud. I also added it to my side bar over there <--------- .

If you go there and click on the link The Facts, you can sign a petition to help ban trans fat. I encourage you to go there, get informed on why it's so bad for you, and think about helping the cause.

Also, while you're at it, think seriously about cutting partially hydrogenated oils out of your diet completely, if possible. You can join a new facebook group here called Trans Fat Beware! where currently a list is being populated with foods and restaurants you should stay clear of.

Thanks for listening.

Peace.

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Muggle-Born

In a recent blog post found here (I may or may not have been blog-stalking), a recipe for the HP Midnight Showing Essentials Kit was given. Some of the key ingredients included a ticket and how to make a cool t-shirt for the grand event. They did a lot of work, and their t-shirts looked really great.

I, however, didn't want to go through as much for a costume, simply because

1. I didn't have the time. We decided to go to the midnight showing the day before, and thus I was short on time to create a costume.
2. I simply did not want to.

But I still wanted to dress up. Being the creative (lazy) person that I am, and having a mom with a creative (brilliant) mind, I found that all you really need is 2 pieces of cardstock paper (color of choice), a piece of twine, a computer with a cool Harry Potter font (found here) and a printer with ink to boot. This is your result:

I apologize for the crappyness of these photos. The Nikon is sick and thus at the doctor, so these were taken with the Oak, a fairly good phone equipped with high-quality, cellphone camera, whose picture taking capabilities are not quite up to par with the Nikon's. But you get the idea.

So that's another way to have a good time at a midnight showing of Harry Potter. Now you all have a good idea for HP7.1 and HP7.2. And I'd like to thank Jalface's friend for the idea for this post.

Peace.

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Leon the Pessimist

For those of you that fear the depressing, pessimistic attitude this post takes on, turn back now. All others, feel free to read on.

There really is no need for the title second place. It means you were good, but not good enough. Sometimes, such as in the Olympics, you may get a smaller, less (or in-) significant prize for taking second. This is the exception to the rule. Generally, you get nothing.

And such is life. You can apply for 100s of jobs, get 1 response, get flown out for an in-person interview, and in the end you are told that you took second place. What do you get out of it? No silver medal to take home. No part-time job. You get nothing. You get told well you almost had it. Better luck next time. And nobody wants that. The almost-winners of the state championship don't walk around sporting rings that say 2nd place state champions. The guy whose fiance dumps him for another guy doesn't wear a t-shirt around that says almost had her. Nobody wants to take second place.

I don't. Second place, you mean nothing to me. You think you're helping people, but you're wrong. It does nobody any good to tell them that they just weren't good enough. It builds nobody's self-esteem to tell them that they weren't fast enough. You're depressing. You can suck it.

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The Adventures of the Green Bohemoth

I promise I will never go to Old Ephraim's grave ever again. Allow me to qualify that statement a hair. If given the opportunity to take the Green Bohemoth to Old Ephraim's ever again, I will not take it.

The Green Bohemoth, or TGB from here on out is an old beater truck that Shane drives around when he's not driving Reg, his Assault Jeep Commander. It's a beautiful truck, really. Green, brown (from where the metal has been eaten away by the rust), and for the most part runs really great.

So yesterday, Jade, Shane and I pile up in TGB for a short drive up Logan canyon to visit the old bear's tombstone and grave. Short. We get there, snap some photos. Since it's way pretty up there, we made a promise that we would soon go camping. Rumor has it, you can see the beast walking around in chains at night on a full moon if you walk around his grave 13 times a second for 333 seconds. Or is it you have to play a certain song on a tin flute while doing an irish jig 13 times (6 next to his grave, 6 next to his tombstone, and 1 exactly in the middle of the two). Me, I don't buy it. Then we cram back into TGB, which was OK since Jade was sitting in the middle.

We start driving back. About halfway between the bear and the highway, we are going up a certain hill. Near the top, it gets really rocky (like the small rocks that are insignificant alone, but in great numbers on a hill, make it awfully hard to drive) and TGB dies. It just kills over and dies. Just like that. Try to start it again. Nothing. So we rolled all the way back down the hill (it wouldn't start by popping the clutch, either) to flat ground, got out of the truck, Shane pulled his shotgun out and blew it up.

Just kidding. Some friendly people came by and we tried to jump it (we thought the battery might be the problem). Nothing. So they gave us a ride back into town. Jade was in the front with the two men (awkward!) and me and Shane froze in the back. On the (very painful) bumpy ride back, we figured out that we had run out of gas, even though, according to the gauge, we still had half a tank. So we get Reg, a 5-gallon gas can (full), a funnel, and a tow-rope, and head back up. Jade stayed home.

When we get back (now it's already well past midnight), we put the gas in and try to start it. Nothing. So we put the cables on and try another jump. Nothing! Can you see where I'm going with this? So Shane decides that maybe he should try cleaning off the battery connectors. Hook the power back up and.....¡¡¡VROOOOOOM!!! Clearly that means it started. So we're going for a bit, can't see a thing because it's so dark and the headlights (on high beam) didn't work too well. Hear a loud pop, truck dies. Try to start it again, completely dead. We jump it again and it dies again 15 minutes later. Jump it again, same thing happens again. This time, we tried to jump it and NOTHING. S-H. Out of gas again. By this point, we're close enough that I can just coast down the hill, in the dark, low light (the moon was brighter. serious), no power-breaks or -steering, and I was tired, cold and hungry. Made it to the bottom of the hill, onto the pavement, and didn't hit any trees or die.

By this time, it was 2:00 a.m. and we decided to try and tow it into town. This proved to be harder (for me) than we thought, so we just left TGB on the side of the road, ready to drink more gas to give it the energy to make it home.

Overall, it was a great experience. With the exception of 2 punk-kids in an orange p.o.c. car that almost ran us over, we had a lot of fun. We got better at jump-starting cars, learned that cars won't start when out of gas, prayed a lot, and had a hamburger when we got back to Shane's at 2:30. Thanks for the good times, TGB!

Peace.

PS - that was way too long. This was the short version, mind...

PSS - Go here. It's a brand new blog that I found and seems pretty cool.

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Independence Day?

I never know how to start off a post. Sometimes I like to write something that doesn't have anything to do with what I'm actually going to write. Sometimes I write about how I never know what to say at the beginning of a post. In this case, it's both.

If I may, I would like to talk about the past 3 days. As my lovely cousin (whose blog you will find here) will say, they were three days from H-E-double-toothpicks. See, hers is a family that doesn't celebrate the 4th of July in the old-fashioned, all-American way. Instead of BBQs and lighting fireworks as a family, they sell fireworks as a family. You've seen the fireworks booths along [some street]. You may have even purchased fireworks from said venders. Though you are probably asking yourself what could possibly be so bad about running a small fireworks booth that I must resort to using such profane, harsh language when describing toothpicks, or days of the week....crap. Lost my train of thought.

As I was saying, selling fireworks is no stroll through the park, unless it's central park at 2 in the morning, and you have no weapon or means to protect yourself. This is tough! I don't want to go into all of the details, or you may steal their secrets and take all of their business next year. That's not what this post is about, and if you'd just be patient, I'll get to the point. Jumping straight to it: my job was to be the supervising adult in the booth (as my brother put it: "You're the only supervising adult we have at that booth. Sorry, I don't love you enough to let you go to [city] and have fun."). 38+ hrs in 3 days. 38+ hrs of standing, rarely getting the chance to sit down. Over fourteen of those standing-hours were yesterday. We started at 10 a.m. (each morning) and by 1 p.m. my feet and legs were already throbbing with pain. I finally got to eat my lunch around 3 p.m. (2 hrs after they brought it) as I gobbled it down in the 2-minute-gap between customers. And there were jalepenos on my sandwich. Imagine a bunch of those getting stuffed in your face in 2 minutes and then trying to help customers.

By 4 p.m. it felt like the ground had found all the pressure points in my feet and was actually pushing upwards harder than gravity was pulling me down. Or maybe it felt more like gravity was pulling me down at a force greater than 9.8 m/s^2. You get the picture either way. It hurt just to stand. And sitting was a mistake: when I got back up after sitting for only 30 seconds, the intensity of the pain doubled. I don't mean to complain, I'm simply creating a snapshot of what it's like to work in a fireworks stand. This is my own fault, but I didn't eat/drink too much, alas I must've lost 5 lbs each of the 3 days along with any energy to keep me going. Especially yesterday.

And the questions people would ask: "What does that one do?", "How much is that with the discount?", "What do you recommend?", etc. I know what flowers, sparklers, and snakes do. The rest I had to make up. I got to be as good of a fireworks salesman as I am a blogger due to the large amount of BS I have the ability to cook up. Interacting with most of the customers was fun. Some people were very friendly, and we would joke and laugh and tell stories. Others were serious and my extremely dry humor couldn't pierce the surface of their stone faces. I had fun trying, especially when, ever-so-slightly, they would smile and let me know that I had won.

When the day had finally ended and we had packed the excess fireworks up in boxes, it was time to go home. I hurt from head to toe and I was beat. My whole body was made of dust (estoy hecho polvo, a Spanish phrase meaning I was completely dead) except for my brain, which continued to work all night. Every time I closed my eyes, I was back in the booth, selling fireworks. You know what I'm talking about. H-E-double-toothpicks. When I woke up (assuming that I actually slept), I lacked the ability to walk. Weak, yes, but I laid in bed most of the day recovering.

To Jerry, Nate, and Shawn (the guys who run this thing): I don't know how you do it. Next year, before I help with the fireworks, I'm going to come down with something serious. Like death.

Peace.

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From the Garret

There's a new, hot blog on the web! Here. It's called from the garret. I suggest you all check it out. Sure, it needs some work. Maybe a different theme, some cool pictures, maybe a 3-column layout like this one (and we all know the 3-column layouts are the best...). So, while you're sitting there with nothing better to do than blog (like me), check it out and become a follower! You might as well follow me too (if you haven't).

Peace.

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Tweet, Tweet

There seems to be way too much happening on my blog.

• I have a list of blogs I frequent (under frequented blogs) over there ------>.
• I have an about me section above the frequented blogs that isn't really about me. Well, it kind of is.
• But that list of blogs goes on forever!
• <----- Let's move to the left side, where there's even MORE action (RSS feeds)!
• I've added a Twitter feed. That's right, I now tweet. I've caught the Twitter-bug. I'm going to hell, I know. But hey, I'm cool.
• Here is something cool!
• You can subscribe to this blog, and I encourage all y'alls to do it. How else are you going to know the exact moment that I post something new? Please, readers, subscribe.
• <----- When, and I did say WHEN, you do subscribe, your picture will go there!
• As many of you know, I've changed my life around completely doing what I call the Summer Oaktree Lifestyle-Change Diet Plan Thing. Part of this plan thing is to completely rid yourself of partially hydrogenated oils. DO IT! You'll be amazed how much trans fat you're actually eating in a day. You may not think it, but it's important. There are some links about info on trans fatty acids, and I'll be adding more. Check back!
• There are some H-ing cool websites I've listed. You may find something interesting if you look hard enough.
• I've added on the other side (--->) a couple new blogs. One is a blog I manage for CanyonWall.com. On this one, the posts are short, and have my own personal touch of humor that you're all here and you all expect from me. I may or may not sign these as Nathan. Of course, my name is Leon, not Nathan. I've only written 3 posts so far (the rest come from the real Nathan), but it will be updated often, hopefully daily. The other blog I added today is a blog written by Seth Godin. It's real interesting, and he updates a lot.
• Let's see. Anything else? Oh yeah, you can catch on Twitter here. So all you stalkers out there are prolly happy. My aim is to please everyone.

Leon signing off.

Peace.

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