I Took That Promise. Will You?

I'll be honest with you guys for a few moments. It may even be presumed that I will be completely honest for the remainder of this post. A few months ago, I may have bragged about losing a little weight. In fact, last year I lost a lot of weight. It felt good.

Here's where the honesty kicks in: I had a hard time regulating my diet shortly after moving to Columbia. Let's just say that I may have put on a few of those pounds I had lost. I told myself over and over and over and over again that I was going to get back on the healthy kick, to get back to the very strict diet I kept myself on. I told myself that in November. Then again in December. Near January 1st, I said, "Self, you need to get back on the healthy kick from whence you came. Starting January 1st."

"That ought to do it," I thought back.

Another month and a week passed by. I could see my sister's wedding in the forthright future, realizing without doubt that forthright is not the adjective I was seeking to use in this sentence. In feigning brains, sometimes you have to take one for the team and risk looking awkwardly stupid. This is getting awkwardly stupid.

"Well, self, what are you going to do?" I asked myself on the morning of February 4th. "You need to find some motivation!"

Where did I turn? The interweb. To be honest (still), I didn't look for any motivation on the interweb. I went to fb and Twitter, back to fb, checked out a few blogs, thought about writing one (which frequently happens), didn't write one (which occurs with nearly the same frequency), and finally ended up here. Go there and read the post, unless you already have or are the author. You will most likely begin to realize what a curious, almost supernaturalistic (which is a word, according to the lack of squiggly red beneath it) coincidence it was. I took that promise.

Two more weeks passed by.

"Dimwit! (I had ceased referring to myself as self and went with something a little more provocative and invasive. Again two adjectives completely unrelated to the noun they modify.) You big dumb. Get your face into gear! [slant face]" This inner-monologue took place today about 4:13 pm (16:13) upon entering the local Hyvee to make some food purchases. Here is what I bought (keep in mind that I had previously thrown almost everything out in my ice box as it had all gone bad, which means only one thing. Fast food.):

• Frozen brocoli
• Frozen spinach
• High-fiber oatmeal
• Extra fiber wheat bread
• Organic almond milk
• Fresh from the farm skim milk
• Fat free yogurts
• Shredded cheese (eek!)
• Baby carrots
• Bananas
• Apples
• Potatoes
• Grapes
• Celery
• Frozen string and wax beans with carrots

Nothing too exciting. I have some whole wheat pasta in the cupboard. I have some almond butter in the other cupboard. I just got deja vu.

"That's not enough. If you're going back on the WJO (Winter June Oaktree, name modified for coolness) diet, you also need to get your exercise in."

Went running. First time in 2 (five) months. I'm dead. It feels good.

So there it is, folks. The [re]start of the [re]new[ed] me. Not sure what I meant by that sentence or what to say to end this post. How about this?

Stop.

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I Don't Know Why I'm Posting This

The poem I wrote for the party I'm missing. Go ahead, point your fingers of scorn. I never claimed to be a poet. Most of the time, they come out as raps anyway. :/

The Demise of [Leon's] Poetry

I've never been very good at writing poetry

I mean, I read and study what Poe throws at me

This is precisely where I get stuck, where I fail:

My rhymes make no sense, I can't seem to excel

But I'll give it a shot, just this once, for the prize

There in lies the key; I hereby create your demise

I pose you a question, a blind inquiry of sorts

The answer to which you must achieve sans your cohorts

Without help nor support you never will guess

The answer to my riddle; alas, do your best

Add a pinch of cartoons of the anime style,

And a video game addiction along with denial

Make it a fanboy of Apple and indie-rock covers

Let it duel 'til its death with all Microsoft lovers

It shall play the piano and read Lord of the Rings

And wear non-prescrip' glasses 'til its left contact stings

Doing all this alone, it knows only despair

It could gripe, it could moan, 'cept you don't even care

What creature is it? A mean old git?

A guy named The Bell? A poor emo kid?

In order to wrap up this stellar, humble rhyme,

Akin to keeping a straight face while sucking a lime

Since you've not given me an answer, since you've not a clue

And since there's really not anything else left to do

I'll answer the riddle which above I have asked

I'll strip off its disguise, I'll uncover its mask

Who's alone on this Saint Valentine's Eve?

The author, yours truly, in other words, me.

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Training

I've been at a work training all week for work. The topic, one of my most favorite subjects: Programming.

You know, like HTML, R, SAS, Java, Pearl, C, Visual Basic, PHP, Blaise, XML, LaTeX, CSS, DOS (not), Spanish; all languages in which I'm quite fluent. I know someone will most likely comment and tell me that he/she can and does program circles around me. Bring it on, I say!

Another bringing on I'd like to issue: I challenge everyone to make a photo like one the following:

I'm not even saying they're any good. Just fun to take. And I want all of my readers to be happy and have fun. Take that!

These [those] [the ones up there] were taken in the hotel room in the hotel where we were all staying for the training. The girl is my best school friend, Colio-Polio. I don't like that name. We shall call her Colie.

Anyway, take some photos like thems. I don't care how you do it. These were made with an iPhone and the Hipstamatic app. I pieced them together in Photoshop and did some late edits in Lightroom. Just sayin' that's what I did. I'd like to see yours [if anyone takes my challenge] on a backtrack or backlink or whatever it is that you do on blogger, if you can figure it out, mind. If you know how, let me know. Maybe I'll try to figure it out and do a blogpost on it. Maybe I need some more blog ideas because that creative one I was working on isn't working out. Maybe I'm rambling. Maybe I'll stop. That will show you.

A show of hands.

Post Script. I'd also like to give a shout out to The Hess and her 41 followers. On Life is Beautiful, "[This blog] is like a piece of chocolate after a dementor attack. Just when I think I'll never be cheerful again, I go there. I always leave [the site] a better person."

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Bragging Wrongs

I've added a check box down there labeled show of hands. That's so you can answer the following question:

Who has ever started and deleted and started and deleted and repeated this process at least 10 times in writing a post?

Sometimes I get halfway done and realize that I don't like what I wrote and I'll just delete it. I feel no remorse in this. I know you all thought I was flawless, that when I wrote a post, it just came out smooth and beautiful the first time. In general, that is the case.

This is an example of me bragging.

Another example of me bragging: I was invited to a poetry party (PP) on Valentine's Eve. Sadly, I won't be able to attend since I live in H-E-double-hockeysticks land and not in Utah land. Flights were too expensive (I browsed) and I have a training school to attend in Little Rock the entire week before the most depressing day of the year. So PP is out. I'm getting to the point. Then you can go back to the less-important activities you are procrastinating doing for the sole purpose of reading this post. I appreciate it, by the way.

I just realized that I have yet to tell you how I bragged. Maybe I don't want to now! For all you know, I got scared and thought to myself, "Self, if you brag, you might look like the very thing you are trying to avoid: a bum." Maybe I didn't think that at all! I don't like where this is headed, and that's saying something. I'm going to go watch Pokemon before it goes any further. You're welcome to stay and read this again and guess the reason for my bragging. Add-E-Os!

PS - Before I forget, does anyone have a good topic for a poem for PP? There was an option to submit a poem and someone cool will read it. The comments section is a good place to send suggestions. So is my email or phone or fax or telegraph machine, for which I know you all have the suitable address, number, or....wire, as it were.

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