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Those of you that have known me for at least a half of blog post know that I can get a bit longwinded. Yes, I admit that sometimes even getting out the simplest sayings in less than 3 sentences with at least 14 words in each can be quite the daunting task. I realize that this can be quite unbearable to some, and that most people simple skim when I create words by sounding my voice box which then projects fluctuating, analog tones towards a small opening that is my mouth, getting formed into an understandable mixture of words by my skilled tongue and gapped teeth, sounding slightly muffled only when I am stuffing my mouth full of Count Chocula, and that even now you're skimming and probably have no idea what I just said. Setting all of this aside, there is one thing that you must admit. You also like the sound of your own molded sound waves.
Of course, there are times when being longwinded or letting even one word escape your mouth is [some extremely cool adjective that I'm failing to construct] and [another one] wrong. Take this for instance: the Bathroom Chatter (BC). For Pete's sake, don't do it! If you are ever involved in BC, it must needs be that you stop such behavior immediately. I find it filthy. It gives me the heebie-jeebies. It's awkward (and the bad kind). It's worse than listening to Secondhand Serenade on a PC. I take that one back. A quick story: today, while minding my own, two gentlemen were in adjacent stalls discussing their weekend. Not the time, pals. Another two guys were standing side-by-side (forgive the imagery) when one looks at the other and says, "We seem to have the same schedule!" The other laughs. I shuddered. The only time BC is remotely acceptable is while washing, nay, SCRUBBING your hands at the sink (and yes, please, DO wash your hands at the sink) or in passing at the doorway. Period.
I realize that this is not my best blog post; I just had to get that off my chest. Of course, I guess I could have just written:
"Don't participate in the Bathroom Chatter."
6 wisecrack(s):
BC huh? Hm, guilty. Not the awkward "must have the same schedule" kind. My apologies. If it makes you feel better, I say the alphabet in my head while washing ("nay, scrubbing") my hands.
Guilty as charged, sir....of such BC, you say. So sorry to offend. I think it's a girl thing. It's acceptable for girls in my mind, but not so much for guys I take it. I agree w/ the bit of washing/scrubbing your hands. That gives me the WORST heebie geebies when a grown adult sits in the stall for over 5 minutes, flushes (thanks goodness for that!), and then walks right out the door. "c'MON lady...that's GROSS!!!:
Maybe it is a guy thing... Jason didn't get quite so graphic, but because he's opened the floor so eloquently, I will.
*ahem* It's completely inappropriate for a man who has his junk in his hands for the purpose of aiming excrement into a sewage receptacle to converse--let alone chat it up about the weekend--with another man who likewise has his junk in his hands. And because the public restroom is the locale for such necessary while unpleasant business, talking, if practiced at all in the restroom, should be kept to a minimum and only at neutral locations such as the sink or door. Save the conversation for AFTER when your private bits are properly stored away.
In short, you're preaching to the choir, man.
Jason I wasn't quite sure what you were saying at the end of the first paragraph but that wasn't because I was skimming. It was because you had me intrigued by this word combination "skilled tongue".... hmmmm.... I agree on the BC topic though. My next post will discuss my own experience with said phenomon. Miss ya bro
I must admit that I am surprised that there were 5 men in the bathroom at the same time. I must also admit that I choose bathroom chatter over the noises the ladies make in the bathroom stalls in my building. Really, if possible, silence of every kind is preferred.
Jason, I always read your blogs in their entirety. I really like how creative you are with your words. I also agree with you on the bathroom chatter. There is an unspoken urinal rule that you should always choose the stall which puts the greatest distance between you and the other bathroom occupants. It is also an unspoken rule that talking is strictly prohibited. Check out http://www.icbe.org/ for more info on bathroom etiquette.
For me, the worst possible bathroom sin, is when people are talking on their bluetooth headsets while going to the bathroom, and then they don't want the person they are talking to to know that they were in the bathroom, so they leave without flushing or washing! Gross!
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