In a Word, Treats

I've decided that I'm a terrible person. Or at least a terrible blogger. If you, my avid fans, are remotely comparable to myself, you'll sit at your computer each day exactly the way a bowling ball floats in a pool of feathers, be it at your desk, kitchen table, living room sofa, piano, hot tub, bath tub, or on your own bed, and click refresh on your google reader akin to a woodpecker beating ferociously on the top of a poor squirrel's head who only bumped into it after being pushed around by a sleep-deprived, grumpy owl named Archimedes and having fallen from higher branches in the exact way that same bowling ball would fly if it had wings, and being chased by a sappy, love-sick, female squirrel that curiously has feelings like unto a human's feelings at the loss of love, or the improbable chance the love of the human's life turns magically and irreversibly into a squirrel, which curiosity is negated due to the idiots at Disney Corp's belief of anthropomorphism, anxiously anticipating the exact moment your blogger friends update their blogs. Get a life.

No, don't. I haven't even told you anything yet! Be patient.

As I was saying, I'm a terrible person. I have this expectation of my blogger friends. I'd like for them to write a new blog daily. At least. More, if time, that ever-pressing-forward, ever-hasty, invisible element that effectively affects wrinkles on those who live long enough to feel the full effects of gravity, permits them. I've even been known to get on fb and tell some, or one, of them that they need to blog with greater frequency. Yet it's been over a week, and I haven't done so much as say hello. Are you starting to understand what makes me terrible? Hypocrisy.

So I'm going to share a treat with you, my friends. Remember back to 2nd grade, when going on a field trip to the anthropology museum, there was always that snotty-nosed kid with plaid shorts and a popped collar whose mom graciously stuffed his pockets so full of treats that even a carefully trained donkey would hesitate to pack across the city to a museum, only to enable the poor child to make friends. Poor treat-boy. Yeah, today, I'm that guy. Except instead of a pocket full of treats, here are some nigh-pointless videos with some fully pointless words surrounding them! I've been reading a book called the Elements of Style, in which the author, author of Charlotte's Web, nonetheless, warns writers not to say more than needed. How am I doing?

Back to the videos. Mayhap some of you have already seen these. If so, it's OK. They're silly enough to still count as a treat. Remember when I used to add videos to my blog? If not, see here, here, here, here, here, aquí and here. Mind, none are as good as the Hess's, one of which you can find here. And as anyone intensely reading a document as riveting and suspenseful as this post is wont to do, you need not worry that clicks on these links will navigate you away from this page, only to necessitate clicking the back button, hitting backspace or sliding 3 fingers towards the left on your MacBook's trackpad in order to re-arrive at this page which will then need 3.5 more precious seconds to reload. They won't. I, with my finely-tuned coding skills, have employed some fancy HTML code so that they will open in new windows, or depending on your browser setting, tabs, allowing you to open all of these videos simultaneously for your future viewing pleasure. You can thank me later.

i. I made a video to make Shane laugh (and boy did it work!) and to show off the new screen recording feature of Snow Leopard (Mac OS X 10.6.0.0.1 or something). It features me making some funny faces and liking everything on Shane's fb wall. Five minutes later, the filthy fb buggers deleted it with this message.

Filthy fb buggers. So I put the video on YouTube. Enjoy.

ii. It seems that much of my life lately has been inspired by the one and only Shane J. Earl. He made a video (if you're on fb, you'll be able to see it) and put it on fb. I facetiously chuckled throughout the whole thing, wholly knowing that a parody video by yours truly was forthcoming. Disfruta. (Note: for those who do not know Spanish, no worries. The language is just nonsense anyway.)

OK, so the filthy mudbloods over at YouTube disabled the audio on this clip. Good news, though. If you are on fb, you can still see it here! That's how you beat the system, friends. Loopholes. If one video host doesn't like something, try another.

iii. Since I'm a nerd, much like the statistician who secretly wishes he would have done graphic design and moved to Europe to master the skill, and on top of fb and blogging, I am also highly addicted to twitter (I'm up to 8 legit followers!). One of my buddies posted a link to this. Funniest thing I've ever seen. And I want one. Note: I can't claim this clip.

I hope you enjoyed today's post as you would enjoy a chocolate mousse cheesecake home-made by Chris Shrope, a chill, laid-back, aspiring gourmet chef/photographer, surfer dude who enjoys a nasal passage full of sodium chloride after a nice day of surfing and shooting video. I hope you comment if you did or if you didn't or are impartial or indifferent or redundant. I also hope you follow me if you haven't yet! :)

Now, get a life.

Peace.

PS - Just so you know, I'm moving to Columbia to be a statistician this week! Wednesday through Friday to be exact. You can see how sad I am here. But really, I'm excited. Jenova's excited. My mom's excited (that she gets her spare bedroom back). Fred Durst is excited. The government is excited. More on this next time.

PPS - This was weird.