The Black Mage

Cue Celtic Moon by Enya. Cue awesome CGI cutscene. Enter baddies. Enter Vivi Ornitier, The Black Mage.

Baddy 1 attacks. Dodged by Vivi. Baddy 2 attacks. Miss! Vivi readies flare. FLARE!!! Both baddies lose 1,000 hp and disintegrate right before your eyes in glorious, flawless CGI.

Cue victory music. Vivi dances. Vivi gains 358 experience points, 5 AP, a hi-potion, and a mythil ring.

If I know you as well as I think I do, you're asking yourself out loud in a mystified tone of voice in your almost-to-par British accent, "What?" Am I right? I might be. I have a 1 in 10 chance of being wrong. Does it scare you that I can see right through the wireless connections that are connecting you to this post, and hence to me, and can see your look of confusion? Does it bother you that I called you out on your poor ability to speak with a false accent? I've been called out on that many times. I've also been told the exact opposite. So what you choose to believe is up to you. As for me, I'm moving on.

And by moving on, I'm moving backwards, as if Hiro himself were controlling time. Hands on the clock moving counter-clockwise. Vivi loses experience points and AP and has to give back the mythril and hi-potion. Baddies reappear. CGI cut-scene plays from end to beginning, Enya intones in reverse sounding akin to the destroyer's music, until time freezes and you sit there face-to-face, staring eagerly at the strangest looking character you've ever seen. His skin appears to be made of burned marshmallows. He has no mouth. His planet-sized, circular eyes glow a raging, deep amber. He's short; shorter than you would expect. His appearance doesn't shout power nor pride nor alpha-mage; you see humility, compassion, curiosity.

Forward-moving time reveals itself to you once more. The all-familiar prelude to those familiar with Final Fantasy 4 enlightens your mind as the screen goes from dark to light, CGI movement commences, the strange character you deemed weak triumphs over evil with a blast of flare that could melt a red dwarf star. You begin to understand his true power.

Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Vivi Ornitier, The Black Mage.