Darkness

It's getting dark.

Visions of green- and gold-colored orbs are floating around me, spinning, threatening my very existence. All I can hear is this eerie, high-pitched noise, echoing through the corridors wherein haunts endless vibrations and brain-waves; it sounds not unlike the index-finger-sized crickets that ruthlessly invest homes in Yuma, Arizona, only slightly higher and 3 times more obnoxious. It's getting louder.

I'm delusional.

The orbs have transformed now. Instead of glowing spheres, they've all turned into bright-blue stars; the once-smoothed edges of miniature planet-like objects have become razor sharp. The sky must be falling. It can't be. They're spinning ever-so-close to my person. I'm scared.

It's now dark. Pitch black. What will happen now that all lights have been shut off and the darkness has taken over completely. Light must yet remain in somebody's heart.

Flashes of light. Brilliant. Imagine being on the top of a mountain; the sky is embedded with dark, unforgiving shapes. Lightening; bright flashes of electricity just before your face, your eyes tear up at the instantaneous reversal of their pupil-dilation. Your head begins to pound. Your body ceases entirely.

The volume of the cricket-like scream is increasing; intensifying. The darkness more immense, completely overtaking the frozen earth upon which you struggle to remain standing, ever-staggering.

I am surrounded.

An hour passes by. Two. Five. No, three. Time is now an illusion. Hands cramped up. Must hit pause. Must save state and rest while I still can, until the yellow dwarf can send forth its plasma rays and penetrate this dark cloud and these perpetual, pulsating flashes of light. Mixtures of green and gold orbs and blue stars, those relentless, selfish, life-absorbing fiends, now surround me completely; they move in. Not life-absorbing; life-sustaining. Warmth.

Light on the horizon.

I'm saved.

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Failed Attempt

Cannot get the creative juices flowing this early in the morning. So far I've tried to write a poem, write a different kind of poem, recite the probability density function (pdf) of the normal distribution, integrate said pdf into a poem, and, of course, fall back to sleep. Like so many other things in life, I have failed at each of these. Some other things I've failed at:

• Going 2 posts in a row without using bulleted lists or mentioning Ramona.
• Becoming a best-selling author.
• Moving back to Utah.
• Learning Japanese fluently by Christmas.
• Gaining a 10-foot vertical.

You'll notice something here. That's right, my creative juices are still not flowing. It was worth a try.

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The Black Mage

Cue Celtic Moon by Enya. Cue awesome CGI cutscene. Enter baddies. Enter Vivi Ornitier, The Black Mage.

Baddy 1 attacks. Dodged by Vivi. Baddy 2 attacks. Miss! Vivi readies flare. FLARE!!! Both baddies lose 1,000 hp and disintegrate right before your eyes in glorious, flawless CGI.

Cue victory music. Vivi dances. Vivi gains 358 experience points, 5 AP, a hi-potion, and a mythil ring.

If I know you as well as I think I do, you're asking yourself out loud in a mystified tone of voice in your almost-to-par British accent, "What?" Am I right? I might be. I have a 1 in 10 chance of being wrong. Does it scare you that I can see right through the wireless connections that are connecting you to this post, and hence to me, and can see your look of confusion? Does it bother you that I called you out on your poor ability to speak with a false accent? I've been called out on that many times. I've also been told the exact opposite. So what you choose to believe is up to you. As for me, I'm moving on.

And by moving on, I'm moving backwards, as if Hiro himself were controlling time. Hands on the clock moving counter-clockwise. Vivi loses experience points and AP and has to give back the mythril and hi-potion. Baddies reappear. CGI cut-scene plays from end to beginning, Enya intones in reverse sounding akin to the destroyer's music, until time freezes and you sit there face-to-face, staring eagerly at the strangest looking character you've ever seen. His skin appears to be made of burned marshmallows. He has no mouth. His planet-sized, circular eyes glow a raging, deep amber. He's short; shorter than you would expect. His appearance doesn't shout power nor pride nor alpha-mage; you see humility, compassion, curiosity.

Forward-moving time reveals itself to you once more. The all-familiar prelude to those familiar with Final Fantasy 4 enlightens your mind as the screen goes from dark to light, CGI movement commences, the strange character you deemed weak triumphs over evil with a blast of flare that could melt a red dwarf star. You begin to understand his true power.

Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Vivi Ornitier, The Black Mage.

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Tweet Me!

Despite all claims that I do not have a sense of humor, I'm a pretty funny human. To prove this, I'd like to take this opportunity to repost some of my tweets from today. As you know, today was Apple's big music event. They announced some pretty cool crap, such as iOS 4 dot 1 and 4 dot 2, a multi-touch unit you clip to your shirt when you go for a jog (which stays out of the way if you get attacked by ninjas or zombies), among many others. The event ended with Steve Jobs sucking up to and allowing take the stage lead vocalist Chris Martin of a band whose performance left an almost-deep-enough impression for me to remember their name. I bet I just lost half of my readership.

During the event, as I just said, I twitted (?) some tweets. For those of you who follow @JLeonBell on twitter will have read these, and I apologize for making you read them again. Just look at the pretty picture at the bottom of the page. Thanks.

• New Apple store in china made from old iPhone 4 glass. #appleevent
• Words required when presenting at an apple event: beautiful, gorgeous.
• Going to switch to Microsoft. #stevejobs got a jack johnson song stuck in my head. #appleevent (there went the other half of my readership... hello, loneliness.)
• This just in: new #coldplay song boring and generic. #appleevent (can't lose any more subscribers...)
• @SmAuRsAeH everything I say is necessary.

I had to throw that last one in for the H of it. And it's entirely possible that only one of us (me) thinks any of those are remotely humorous. I'll leave you alone then. Here's my final tweet for the night. Adieu!

• Need to find a purple-haired lady! #ramona

(images not mine; Steve Jobs comments sarcasm; Coldplay comments not sarcasm)

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