My Hero

I recently watched LOTR (if you don't know what that acronym stands for, you are unworthy to be reading this blog. Go on! Shew! Get out of here!) and loved every second of it. That's the nerdy side of me.

At one point, the critical (jerk) side of me popped out. Near the end of the 3rd film (about an hour left), they (if you don't know who "they" are, get out) are discussing a plan to help the ring-bearer succeed. Dialogue.

Gandolf: He's suffered a defeat, yes, but... behind the walls of Mordor, our enemy is regrouping.
Gimli: Let him stay there. *Let him rot!* Why should we care?
Gandolf: Because 10,000 Orcs now stand between Frodo and Mount Doom. I've sent him to his death.
Aragorn: No. There is still hope for Frodo. He needs time... and safe passage across the plains of Gorgoroth. We can give him that.
Gimli: How?
Aragorn: Draw out Sauron's armies. Empty his lands. Then we gather our full strength and march on the Black Gate.
Eomer: We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms.
Aragorn: Not for ourselves. But we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's Eye fixed upon us. Keep him blind to all else that moves.

(Interjection. Brace yourself.)

Legolas: A diversion!!

Well said, Legoman. So I just did a google search. You know how google [likes to think they are taking over the world] will give suggestions to help you finish a search query? I typed "legolas a" and the first suggestion that came up was "legolas a diversion." Apparently there are cults focused around his brilliance. Examples.

• Urban dictionary, definition #3. I am not responsible if you are offended by anything you see there.
• A facebook group. Caution: organizers of this group love Legolove so much they like to use colorful language. Again, I am not responsible.
• And a well-made video on YouTube I stumbled across. Lovely.

So, in honor of Legoland, I'm going to start throwing in the phrase A Diversion! wherever I deem it the most appropriate.

Next episode: I will discuss yet another brilliant statement by Legolegs (disguised William Turner) when he, trying to sound bright, throws out the obvious answer to an inquiry by Ichabod Crane. Barbosa!