Just chillin' at my desk in my office
I guess I feel, from reading all of my friends’ blogs, which are all deep and insightful, that I need to come up with something good to write about before I write anything. I learned many things from my mom, and one of those is that if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all. OK, she really didn’t teach me that, and anyone who knows me can argue that I say many stupid things…which leads me to today’s topic. Disclaimer: if you are expecting anything deep or insightful (or remotely good), feel free to turn back now as you will not find it here. Disclaimer 2: if you get nauseous or sick from hearing statistics talk, etc. than I will not be offended if you redirect to a better blog, say HaleStorm or Untitled Statements. These two blogs will fill your Jones for a good blog.
Now having disclaimed all y’all sufficiently, I am going to start with one of the most inspiring statements I’ve ever heard. A very wise man (namely, Utah State University’s Math/Stat department’s only, Dr. Chris Corcoran) once said, “A p-value is a very powerful tool; however, it should not preclude us from using our brains!” This p-value [the probability that you observe something as extreme, or more extreme, as what has been observed, given the null hypothesis is true] of which Chris speaks is exactly the thing about which I am not going to write. It’s the other part: the using our brains part.
There is a very big problem with the human race. We don’t use our brains!!!! As I mentioned above, I grade homework for a 5000-level stats class. Today as I was grading said homework, I read something that one of the students had written, and I almost wet my pants. The student wrote, “We can see from this plot that the data form a straight line, except that it is a curved straight line.” Huh?!? I had a very hard time not writing, “Look, it’s either a straight line, or it’s a curved line…ya moron!” Of course, I didn’t. But it’s the same thing as saying to someone across the room, “Hey, I’m going to walk over to you in a straight line,” and then walk in a parabolic shaped curve to them. Another student tried to convince me that my desk was brown because it is brown, and someone even attempted to BS their way through the homework telling me that peanuts are nuts except that they aren’t nuts. I wanted to scream. Please people, you are in a 5000-level class. I don’t care if it’s Statistics, Economics, or FCHD 5120, we should be able to use our brains.
So what is it about me (us) that, as Dr. Corcoran stated so beautifully, “precludes [me/us] from using [my/our] brain(s)?” To be frank, I haven’t thought that much about it. Call it laziness. It could also be the 12 pack of Livewire I drink every few days, or the countless hours I waste away on videogames. I could be wrong, but these might have something to do with it. But anyone who knows me can list at least 10 instances in which I’ve failed to use my brain. Please list these in the comments section.
In closing, may we all get our pulses and membranes working, turn the light on upstairs, and make the world a better place. Except me…I’m excused from using my brain.